dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Randomize
