Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
