Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
