dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
