I must be too annoying 4 u.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
