By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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