Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
