Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
