Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
