I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
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