He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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