Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
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