3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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