decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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