You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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