You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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