All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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