I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
