so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
