Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize