I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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