Dual....:-)
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Randomize
