how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.Â
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
