1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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