I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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