Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
