it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Randomize
