Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
