yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
