I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
