Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
