i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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