I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
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