Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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