As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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