We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Randomize