Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
