True but thats because hes a fetus.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
