Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
