Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
