and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Best friends brother. Beat that.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize