How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Randomize
