so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
