he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
