he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
