Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
