Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
