This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize