I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I believe in your delicious
Randomize
