I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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