I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
