We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
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