I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Randomize
