I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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