My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
