Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Randomize
