That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
