Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize