whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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