i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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