you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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