I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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