lets start a swedish sibling band together
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Randomize
