he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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