He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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